Forgiveness Is Spiritual
Unforgiveness comes naturally. (Eccl. 7:9 / James 1:20)
- The natural (unregenerate) man, in the interest of “righteousness,” always tries to keep the scales balanced himself.
Forgiveness comes supernaturally, by means of the Holy Spirit.
The born-again believer (regenerate man), has been sensitized to a host of concepts and invisible realities which are spiritual in nature (e.g., a personal, loving, and forgiving God who replenishes losses; a sense of purpose; a sense of calling; etc.) It is all this which enables the believer, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to truly forgive.
Forgiveness Is Not:
- Pretending it didn’t hurt or that it didn’t matter—(The offense or damage is a real matter to me. Forgiveness is not the same as pretending.)
- An emotion—(If I wait until I feel like forgiving, I’m going to wait a long time!)
- Getting over an offense by waiting it out—(Time does not heal all wounds; it merely covers over most wounds.)
- Letting a person “off the hook” with God—(We don’t have the power or authority to relieve others of their responsibility before God!) (Rom. 14:11-12; 1 Pet. 4:5; Heb. 4:13)
- Immediately trusting the offender again—(Forgiveness is granted; trust is earned.) (Eph. 1:7, Luke 17:3-4, Col. 3:13)
Trusting comes only as we get to know someone and believe in their character that’s why I can trust God—because I am confident in His character (Psalm 18:30, Num. 23:19)
Thank you, Mary, for this post. I think this is a lesson I am currently being taught and your post helps me along the way. Forgiveness is a particularly difficult thing--especially when the offending party has not and will not apologize or repent. But that is not actually a prerequisite in God's mind.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough hill to climb, but knowing the truth about what forgiveness truly is (and is not) helps.
Thank you for putting the balancing remarks about what forgiveness is not.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is letting go of getting even with someone for a real or perceived harm they have done to us, no more no less.
It's interesting to me that even non-Christians understand the power of forgiveness - that we really are helping our own selves when we forgive, and that unforgiveness usually hurts us more than it hurts the offender.
I think the first and last items on the "What it is not" list are big hindrances to folks actually forgiving each other. The fear is there that the person you're forgiving will say, "you haven't really forgiven me because you're still feeling bad about it" or "you haven't truly forgiven me or else you would trust me."
ReplyDeleteThose two things help me to come to terms with some of the techniques used by professional abusers and people who use "friendship" to betray their brothers and sisters in Christ.