One of my high school teachers became a wonderful friend to me and to many other students at the Christian high school I attended. I remember being at his house one day after I had graduated from high school when he said to me, "you know, working with Christians is just about the worst thing I have ever experienced."
I didn't understand that then, but three decades later I understand his statement fully. It's hard to explain why it is, but Christians seem to behave much worse than the non-believers that we work with and do business with.
I think part of the problem is that we expect so much more out of those who are of the household of faith. So when they disappoint us it is a huge disappointment. But we really should not expect that Christians will always do the right thing.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says: Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (emphasis mine)
If Christians didn't regularly do the wrong thing, if we didn't sin against each other regularly, if we didn't hurt each other—there would be no need for us to forgive one another. It's a difficult thing to do, but each one of us makes it necessary.
Richard, I have heard this so much from waitresses and those who used to be waitresses, that I have to think it is true -- the worst tippers and restaurant customers are also supposedly the Christians, who flock to the restaurants after church. The remark that especially makes me cringe is where a tract is left without a tip. I think if you want to be heard, you also do what is customary, for the proverb is true that a man's gift makes room for him.
ReplyDeleteThis shoddy testimony that so many waitresses have of the Sunday crowd, whom they dreaded to serve, makes me very sad. It should be the other way around.
Lynn - my wife was a waitress for quite a few years at a steak house and she talked to me about that many times. She did not work the Sunday-after-church slot, but heard from the waitresses how awful the church folks' tips were.
ReplyDeleteBut she had her own experiences with Christians, including many large groups who came after their Bible studies and other get-togethers. They were demanding, boisterous, and rude and left little or no tip, but almost always made sure the waitresses knew that they were church people and almost always left tracts.
I think you have been too kind by saying that Christians should do "what is customary." Tips are the majority of a waiter's pay and not leaving the accepted tip (15 to 20%) is simply stealing from them. It's not a matter of being unethical - it's a matter of theft perpetrated regularly by Christians, many of whom brag about it to their friends. If a waiter or waitress is so bad that they don't deserve the 15% tip, the manager needs to be called over and a complaint left. If we're not willing to make a direct complaint (which might be refuted), we should leave the tip.
Christians should also realize that there are many restaurants that don't have wait staff - like McDonalds and 7-Eleven. They're welcome to go there if they are too poor to cover a tip. Before they order their food at a restaurant with servers, they need to calculate the 20% tip to make sure they don't order more than they can afford to leave a decent tip on.
Sorry for the long comment - this is a sore spot with me. My wife was stolen from on a regular basis by "Christians" who requested her as their server because she was so good. There's just no excuse for this blatant sin.
Rich, It's so interesting how to touch on this issue. My brother just started working at Ruby Tuesday's a couple weeks ago. Before he started working I had no idea how little money those in the food service get paid, before tips. He was told that Sunday afternoon is the worst day to work, because it's the after-church crowd. That's so sad. As Christians we should be different. Grant said that a guy came in the other day to the restaurant and his bill was $9 and he left a $5 tip with a track. If the guy had left a lousy tip with the track, which happens pretty often, it would have looked pretty bad. Anyway, great topic.
ReplyDeleteMeg - nice to hear from you. I hope you're having a great summer. I love your Israel trip pics.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a shame that Christians have this reputation in the restaurants. I know two pastors who are notoriously bad tippers and both of them go out to restaurants regularly.
One time, my wife snuck back to the table after we were taken out to a dinner by one of these pastors and slipped a $20 bill onto the table because the pastor had left a $2.00 tip on a $100+ meal. He noticed it, went back to the table, picked up the $20 and put it in his wallet. It's just amazing.
I commented decades later in a general conversation about Christians having the reputation for being bad tippers. This pastor and his wife both became incensed and proclaimed that they always leave good tips and that attacking them like this was completely inappropriate.
It is very true about servers not wanting to wait on christians. In general they are lousy tippers, Sunday crowds tend to leave a dollar per person not matter how much they spend on their meal (and they are considered the good tippers for christians.) They also tend to be very demanding and time consuming in what they expect of their server. Many places have a hard time getting their servers to work until after the "church crowd" is done.
ReplyDeleteI waited tables several years ago and we had a group of church goers come in almost every Sunday night. Not only were they bad tippers but they spent the whole meal talking bad about the other members of their congregation. They would order about $90.00 worth of food while running you ragged with free drink refills for the kids and leave a $5.00 tip. They would send one couple in right after church to make sure they got a table before we closed and the others would eventually come long after we should have been gone. The management eventually had begin telling them the kitchen closed at a certain time and if the food was not ordered they could not be served.
I even overheard one server ask "why would I want to be one of them?" Ouch. And yes many will leave a tract and say this is worth so much more than a tip. But that tract won't help feed them this week. The "I will pray for you that God will meet you needs." Can't you just hear the "Coz I'm sure not going to help."
At $2.03 per hour as an hourly rate that servers make the balance is to made up by the tips they make.
Being a Christian and an x-waitress I understand this plight. First most people don't understand how hard it is to waitress. Second most Christians who go out on after church Sunday do so, as there only outing because it is all they can afford to do. Which isn't an excuse not to tip, they should adjust their meal intake so that then can afford an appropriate tip.
ReplyDeleteAs for Christians being jerks, we should expect more of them, God certainly does! But we also should be mindful and forgiving, which comes from being in fellowship - that is friendly with each other. It is much easier to forgive and understand someone who is have a bad day, if they at least acknowledge they know they are being a jerk. In all of Christ Love...
I agree with these comments about Christians and tipping. It is very sad and does not give a good impression of what Christ followers are supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteAlong the same line of Christians and disappointments, if you want to be dropped by every Christian "friend" in the Church, work, etc., be left a widow by your husband of 27 years.
I will never forget my "friend" of 26 years telling me she needed to leave me to myself (at this sad time), that she didn't know how to help me.
Sad - luckily, God protected me and I found true friends (2) who stuck by me.
Anonymous: I'm sorry this has happened to you. I think we Christians too often look for friends based on what they can give to us rather than on how we can love them. That is likely to result in us leaving our friends at the worst possible moment--during a time of crisis.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have made new friends. Thanks for visiting my blog.