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After careful consideration of the best way to present the outstanding Vision-Impaired Forum, this blog sidebar banner is now available for your use. In featuring the Vision Impaired Forum on your blog, please be sure to carefully edit all future posts to make sure all scriptures are used out of context and applied incorrectly.
Tips:
- Redefine no less than 10% of all words in each sentence (15% for scripture), but no more than 25% of the words. This will keep them guessing and throw them off-balance long enough for you to make your point and run before they recover.
- Never use the entire context. If necessary, quote only part of the verse. Context proves all of our arguments wrong, renders our authority suspect, and diminishes our considerable income from such products as "Raising Canine Maidens of Pervue," and "Passionate Submissives, Desperate to Escape." For this reason, we must do our best to remove context from all scripture-based arguments.
- Use emotionally laden and accusatory language if at all possible. Accusations and inflamatory emotional language helps to misdirect the reader from the fact that we are full of bile. It is, for this reason, one of our best tools for obfuscation.
Wear the Vision-Impaired Forum banner with pride. Proclaim your faith in the Gospel according to Philips, McDonald, et al.
Richard. I'm ashamed of you, truly. Putting hair on a woman's chest?? Instead of honoring her as UNIQUELY feminine? The VIF would never dream of doing such a thing! They have women as God originally designed: honey in the veins, mother's milk in the brain, no muscles and no spine, just God's sweet delicate creation. My feminine nature is quite affronted, and I feel I should summon a man to confront you; I, of course, don't have what it takes.
ReplyDelete*begins inhaling scented hanky in earnest*
Oh - you thought I did that? That's their real banner and logo. It's just a picture of a true patriarchal woman once you get her to wear something a bit more revealing. That's why all the patriarchal men have a testosterone deficiency--their wives are using it all.
ReplyDeleteOohh. So, is that why the women in VIF lack true womanhood: their husbands are borrowing their femininity? Is that why Mr. Phillips always tells those syrupy sweet and gobby stories about his daughters and how much he woves them and how MEANINGFUL, how very meaningful his family is? And how he just loves "feminine" stuff like pink dresses for ladies? And why he threw a fit when a woman wrote a book about him and nicknamed her after a villain from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
ReplyDelete