A father's grief

Life is hard. Not much more than that needs be said. We often wonder what God is doing as our lives seem to unravel. I was reminded recently by a friend that it is okay to question God as long as we are willing to accept his answer (or willing to accept his decision to not answer our "why?" question). My friend pointed out that Job asked God "why?" on a number of occasions—even, at one point, asking God why he had been born. But in the end we are told that in all that Job said he did not sin.

Many of my why? questions seem to revolve around my role as a parent. Being a father is not an easy job and I often feel that I am not up to the task. But in my personal bible reading this morning and read part of the story of Joseph and I was struck with a different viewpoint on this story than what we normally think of—the viewpoint of Jacob, Joseph's father

Imagine the difficulties, agony, and emotional pain Jacob had to endure as his sons showed their hatred for their brother, Joseph. Imagine his disappointment when Joseph started saying things that appeared to be calculated to make his brothers hate him even more—such things as, "you all are going to bow down to me one day ... and I heard this news from God in my dreams last night." Imagine Jacob's pain upon the news that his favored son had been killed by a wild animal, the news of which was brought to him along with a bloodied garment to prove the violent report.

But it didn't end there. Years later, during the famine, His sons were told to bring their younger brother with them to Egypt or they would not be able to receive food. Jacob must have felt terrible trepidation at letting his youngest son, the only other brother of his favored wife Rebecca, go with the other brothers to Egypt. And then for the younger brother to be kept in Egypt when the brothers returned to Canaan, it must have been almost unbearable for Jacob.

In fact, the brothers told the Egyptian leader in Genesis 44:30-31, "Now therefore, as soon as I come to your servant my father, and the boy is not with us, then, as his life is bound up in the boy's life, as soon as he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die, and your servants will bring down the gray hairs of your servant our father with sorrow to Sheol. This must have been a terrible thing for Jacob, the father.

But in the end, Joseph tells his brothers:

Genesis 50:19-21
But Joseph said to them, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

From this story I find great comfort in knowing that whatever happens in my parenting—whatever happens with my children, I must rest in God's total and complete sovereignty over all that happens. Whatever happens, I know that it will bring ultimate glory to God. In that I must rest.