Facebook friend asked me yesterday what the secret was to my family life, happiness and dates with hubby. What an interesting question! My reply to her was “That secret is wrapped up in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and the satisfaction that comes from knowing Him. That has affected my family life as well—we have learned to reflect the unconditional love of our Savior toward each other, and to enjoy each others strengths and abilities rather than dwelling on what we don’t have.”
I went searching today for some of the scriptures that remind us that our hope, our joy, is in the Lord, not in the circumstances we find ourselves in. Here are some passages:
Isaiah 55:2
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.Psalm 107:8,9
Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.John 15:9-13
“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”emphases mine
Do you know, O Christian,
you’re a sermon in shoes?
Do you know, O Christian,
you’re a sermon in shoes?
Jesus calls upon you to
spread the Gospel News;
So walk it, and talk it,
Live it, and give it,
Teach it, and preach it
Know it, and show it,
A Sermon in Shoes.
We do NOT have a perfect family. We struggle with attitudes and behaviors that are not Christlike, from Mom and Dad down to the youngest kid. But what peace, joy, and happiness we do have is a direct result of our “abiding” in Christ. When we think rightly, we walk rightly. When we obey His command to love each other the way He has loved us, we have His joy in our hearts, and that joy overflows. So whatever good someone sees in our family life, or in my life, it is truly a result of God sanctifying us and making us more like Him.
This reminds me of a children’s Bible song I used to sing in Jr. Church, “Sermon in Shoes,” lyrics in the callout box to the right.
Indeed, if our joy comes from the Lord, rather than depending on our mates for all of it, we can give to our mates, not always take from them, and marriages are apt to be happier, smoother, and longer. I have now been up-and-down, happier-and-sometimes-less-happy, sharing-normal-life-together with my husband of almost 40 years (39.5 to be precise). You have for sure found the secret!
ReplyDeleteEarly in our marriage, my feelings were easily hurt. I truly wanted to please my husband, and it seemed at times that such a thing was an impossible goal. And as I lay in bed one evening, angry at my mate, God spoke to my spirit, "Why are you angry with your husband?" to which I reasoned, "because he doesn't love me unconditionally." And would you believe the reply?? "Love him unconditionally." What -- I had to change even if he never would? I learned to find my satisfaction in serving and pleasing Christ. As I became more confident and less demanding, my husband found me more pleasant to live with...and the cycle went on. As we both grow in Christ, our relationship becomes sweeter. This is true with my children as well.
ReplyDeleteDear Mary,
ReplyDeleteYou are a wise and encouraging friend and sister in Christ! What a wonderful secret to share with all our friends!
God tells us in John 15 that He wants us to love each other in the same way He has loved us. Now I know that Jesus laid dow...n His life for me, a wretched sinner (not because I worked so hard to please Him and those I love); God loves me UNCONDITIONALLY, even though I failed...so I must love unconditionally, even when those I love fail me.
No matter how hard we try to please everyone all the time, we just simply can't meet the conditions of those we love and sometimes we are accused and blamed. We fail someone in some way and then feel so unworthy of love; a lie that Satan wants us to believe in order to destroy our Christian testimony and our families.
God's Word is TRUTH...and yes, if we remember that we are a sermon in shoes, we will as you said, "reflect the unconditional love of our Savior toward each other, and to enjoy each others strengths and abilities rather than dwelling on what we don’t have.”
"So walk it, and talk it,
Live it, and give it,
Teach it, and preach it
Know it, and show it,"
and maybe others will come to understand the TRUE Gospel message of GOD'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND BE FILLED WITH HIS JOY!
I love you Mary and thank you so much for your encouragement!
Susan
Mary,
ReplyDeleteVery good post. I'm so thankful that my Savior does NOT ask me to please people all the time like someone else said, but that I am to seek HIM and He will direct my path.
A great freedom comes when we know the only One we are to "please" is the Lord and, through the Holy Spirit, we can show His love to others. But it's not our job to please people. I know I often do things that I feel led to do, by the Holy Spirit, that do NOT please others. But because I do them in OBEDIENCE to the Lord, I know I am doing the right thing.
For example, I have some friends who are missionaries in a Muslim nation. Their parents were dead set AGAINST them going into the mission field. As adults, were they supposed to please family members when the Lord was clearly calling them into a life of service? No...their obedience to the Lord was the most important thing and they have seen many come into relationships with Christ because of their obedience and service.
If we realize it's not our responsibility to ensure others are happy with us, we can serve the Lord more fully. And, in turn, we must realize that others are not here to please us! Hard to do, but our joy needs to come from the Lord...not what others do and do not do for or to us.
Again, great post Mary!
Joshua - Your analysis is strong and your comment thought-provoking. The two sides of this coin (personal obedience to God and restraint from legalistic demands on others) have been repeatedly impressed on my heart through personal devotions and conversations with Christian brothers and sisters—including Mary.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this comment.
I hope I have not led anyone to think that we wives now have an excuse for not willingly placing ourselves under the authority of our husbands. I'm speaking here more of our attitude, knowing that in willingly submitting our rights to the God-given leader of our homes, we ARE pleasing God. We may not get the results we desire, but we can rest knowing that God is satisfied with our service. Our obedience must always be to the scriptures. Sometimes the warnings of others (even a donkey!!) can be warnings from the Lord. Other times, godly people give us good, reasonable warnings, but it's not from God (Paul's return to Jerusalem). We must be very careful that we weigh all the knowledge, facts, wisdom at our disposal and then move in a direction that will bring glory to God.
ReplyDelete