A gift from my wife

If you bought something for yourself, could you claim that you had bought it as a gift for your spouse? I would never have imagined that this could be answered with a "yes" ... until now.

After my wife and I saw the movie Fireproof, my wife purchased the book that is at the heart of this movie. When she came home from the book store, she gave me a new book by my favorite author, John Piper. I noticed another book and asked her what it was. She showed me the book, The Love Dare, by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick. I teased her about getting me a book that lays out ways you can be a better spouse. She told me that she hadn't bought that book for me, but for herself.

So then, my wife bought herself a book—but it is a present for me. That is, it would be a present for me if the book has the impact that is indicated by the movie Fireproof.

So today I picked up the book and read the introduction. I realize that I, too, need to read this book and take each step seriously. Pray for me as I begin and continue this journey. It looks like a rough but rewarding path.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The Scriptures Say that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful, priceless gift. He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do the one thing that is most important in marriage—to love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life changing.

This book is about love. It's about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. And this journey begins with the person who is closest to you: your spouse. May God bless you as you begin this adventure.

1 Corinthians 13:1–3

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that "the heart is more deceitful than all else" (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.

We dare you to think differently—choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.

The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You've no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.

From the introduction to The Love Dare