My father sent me this in an e-mail. I just had to post it. I'm pretty sure I'm not a Democrat or a Republican in this sampling:
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP (BIG pistol), and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
- Does the man look poor or oppressed?
- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
- Could we run away?
- What does my wife think?
- What about the kids?
- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
- What does the law say about this situation?
- Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
- Should I call 9-1-1?
- Why is this street so deserted?
- We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!'
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!'
I was sent that as an email joke a long time ago, and my response was if I were walking down the street with my wife and kids, it would make me an flaming liberal lesbian, no matter what my response was!
ReplyDelete;-)
LOL - Lynn, I hadn't thought of it from a woman's perspective. Would I be amiss in saying that you would, then, be a Democrat?
ReplyDeleteWould I be amiss in saying that you would, then, be a Democrat?
ReplyDeleteWas that a pun?
I'm a flaming liberal lesbian, and you're a "miss?"
;-)
I hit send before I was finished.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Democrat.
I'm a flaming liberal lesbian, and you're a "miss?"
ReplyDeleteLOL - That was very funny ... sick, but funny.
Sorry! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHey, you know I was just kidding, but it's gone sour today upon hearing about Ray Bolz coming out of the closet and wandering into darkness.
ReplyDeleteWe need to really pray for him, and for the wife he left behind.
Lynn - I had not heard about this. What a shame.
ReplyDeleteFrom his web site: I believed that if people knew who I really was, I would never be accepted. During the last few years I've learned that there are many people who feel the same way I did. One church in particular has helped me in many ways. The Metropolitan Community Church (www.mccchurch.org) was started forty years ago by Rev. Troy Perry in the Los Angeles area and has an outreach to the LGTB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community.
I don't understand why folks don't see that looking for a church that agrees with you rather than looking for a church that teaches the Word of God is a problem.