We saw a friend of ours at the playground yesterday. Our son adores this family's little girl and told her mother how cute she looked. I grabbed my camera and took a few photos.
Looking at the photos this morning brought to mind something Voddie Baucham has pointed to as an "infection" in our churches—the apparent dislike of children. And I think he's right about this. We often hear jokes told even among Christians that belittle the concept of having a "quiver full" of children. Voddie mentions such examples as the statements that are "jokingly" made to women who enter church with three or more kids in tow. "Haven't you figured out how that happens yet?" Ha ha ha. "You might want to try watching television instead." Ha ha ha. Even teachers and pastors will sometimes say something like, "we thought my wife was pregnant, but she went in for a pregnancy test last Thursday and (wiping his brow), praise God, she is not pregnant."
What a terrible way to look at God's blessing of children. My son has severe issues caused by the in-utero drug use of his birthmother. He is severly ADD, bipolar, has sensory integration disorder, and, according to those who have evaluated and tested him ad infinitum, "a grab bag of other emotional and psychological disorders." His medical needs alone are staggering with monthly medications presenting us with deductibles well above most people's monthly mortgage payments. My wife has had to quit her job in order to work full time to keep him from being discharged from school. We had to move our family 200 miles away from the city where we both were raised and found our living in order to be near him when he was hospitalized at a behavioral treatment center for 18 months. And on and on.
And yet, in spite of it all (and sometimes even because of it all), we can't imagine life without him. He's a delightful child—full of life, bright, intelligent, talented. All-in-all, a wonderful kid. And truly, a blessing of God.
This quote perfectly describes my wonderful son:
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars —Jack Kerouac
Richard, I think your son sounds like a wonderful young man.
ReplyDeleteMy son, the one who is an artist, has just discovered the beat poets and read that same quote by Kerouac to me just the other day. I had to agree....I delight in those people who look at life with excitement and wonder.
This was a great blog entry, y the way. With 6 children, we have heard it all, much of it quite unpleasant and obnoxious. My husband's favorite response when asked "don't you know what causes that" always was "of course I do. God causes that." :)
thatmom - Isn't that a wonderful quote. We were looking at refrigerator magnets with sayings on them when I ran across this one. I began weeping in the middle of the store - and got some very strange looks from passers-by.
ReplyDelete"God causes that" Amen!
I think that understanding the blessing of children is one of the things about the quiverfull movement that I really take to heart. I don't think that having TOO many kids is right if you can't afford it, but allowing God to bless you and cherishing every child and pregnancy is a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it is so hard to see the negative attitude about children when I have a sister and a close friend who have not been able to conceive. They want children so bad, and love the children we share with them, but it is with a twinge of sadness that I look at them when they are interacting with my daughter. I know it's not constantly on their minds--or maybe it is--but it breaks my own heart that they haven't been able to have the children they want when it has come "so easily" to me.
I want several children, I don't know if I'll ever convince my husband--he's concerned about the economics of it more than the blessing, we love the two we have been blessed with. But it's okay with me if we only have 2, because they are still a huge blessing.
I don't think some people realize how amazing it is to get pregnant. The whole internal process is practically miraculous, yet no one really appreciates it until they for some reason can't get pregnant.
And what a blessing when children whose birth parents cannot care for them are willing to allow them to live so that another family can care for and love them! Adoption is an amazing blessing in our time, and adopted children and families are a great testimony to God's adoption of us!
Abby - you make a good point about "too many children." We need to view children as the blessings they are, but I don't think any of us can tell others how many children they should or should not have. That is between them and God. And much of what is said against birth control is not derived from scripture. It gets down to the fact that many of the anti-birth control people want to keep married people from simply enjoying sex. This is not a Christian attitude.
ReplyDeleteWe should, however, become as informed as possible about birth control if we are going to use it. Many birth control techniques are abortifacient in nature and cause the death of the zygote rather then keeping the egg and sperm from uniting. This is unacceptable.
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